Circular Thoughts

I keep thinking if I speak to you,

With every word, it’ll be less painful,

But I am fooled,

It becomes the opposite,

I cannot be fully open and honest,

I cannot be as playful and carefree,

I have to restrict what I’d like to say, filtered,

To the point where it’s easier not to speak,

But then I miss you…

And the pain begins again.

-R1, August 2018