Phew! It has been a year and it’s not even over yet! Life can get heavy and REAL heavy at times, 2020-2021 has definitely shown itself to be for the books. Sometimes it can seem as if one of the things I have been working on and trying my hardest to master ( aren’t we all ), is the ability to let bygones be bygones. The ability to not let the things that happen to you affect your day. So, this week on the blog, I share how I’m attempting to chisel away at trying to let things go and not take things too seriously. Read along.
Sometimes you need to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.
Sometimes things just fall as they do…and let me be the 1st to tell you- I didn’t always believe that. Or maybe I should say I believed it, I just struggled to find ways to put it into practice. In some ways I felt if I had my stuff together and managed it all- then nothing would surprise me. But over the years, I also realized this was a defence mechanism and it was also wildly unhealthy and untrue. You cannot control every variable, it’s just impossible and you most definitely cannot live your life worrying about any of it either. No matter your personality, or the coping mechanisms you subscribe to, at the end of the day the fact of the matter is, things will fall as they may. Worrying about it won’t change the outcome, if anything- it will rob you of your joy. People will come into your life and people will leave. None of it is entirely on you, maybe they just aren’t your people. Maybe the timing isn’t right, maybe it simply wasn’t meant to be. I know it all sounds so cliche and a little bit non committal, but realistically it’s one of the only ways I have found to compartmentalism, but also cope. Know that when I tell you this- I’ve been there. I am there. I’m sifting through all of those emotions more recently than you might know. They suck. Chest aching pain. Twenty year old Rekeisha would have taken it as a personal attack and felt like everyone is out to get her. Shock, not everything is/was about me, but I most definitely walked through life like it was.
Let come what comes, let go what goes. See what remains.
One of the main things I learnt was that holding on was doing more harm to me than to anyone else. I was the one who was pent up, I was the one who was wildly unhappy and functioning at 85-90% exasperated. It made me an angry, miserable person on the inside and if I’m being quite honest, I refuse to be that person. I didn’t like the way it made me feel, but most importantly learning to let things go, felt like a ballon releasing air-I felt and feel so much more relaxed. It was genuinely like a lightbulb went off in my brain when I realized that it wasn’t out of my control. The way I choose to live my life is up to me, the decisions I choose to take are all up to me and yes there may be pressures and preconceived ideas, but at the end of the day- I have to be happy with my choices. And if I am not, then it’s up to me to do something about it and not rest on my laurels and blame someone else. I think that was one of my biggest lessons- it really was up to me.
So, let the poop hit the fan, you’ll rise out from under is, maybe a little smelly and with some bruises to show for it, but- you’ll most certainly have a story to tell!