While everyone will be making goals/targets/resolutions of the things they would LIKE to be doing, this year, I’m working in a different way. I’m making a list of the things I will NOT be doing this upcoming year. Patterns and thought-processes I want to cut out from my life, accepting things I know deep down I shouldn’t be. So, this week on the blog, I will be sharing some of the things I intend to not carry forward into 2022 and in some cases I should have gotten rid of back in 2020, so we’re not having a redo. Read along and let us know what you think and what habits you would like to shed.
Stop Overthinking: If I’m being honest with myself, the back end of 2021, has been an emotionally tough one. And though I know I have a HUGE tendency to over think and blow things WAY out of proportion; I found it a little hard to see things for what they were. Time has given me some perspective, it felt like a shedding, it was a painful one, and though I learnt a lot about what I can handle and what good, open communication feels like. It left me realizing the things I need to be much more firm with when it comes to setting my boundaries. One thing I never thought would be linked to me was feeling extreme levels of guilt when it comes to my boundaries. I never used to care how I came across to people. I never used to care how they felt- I simply went about my business and that was that. But lately, I’ve spent many, many hours of my life trying to figure out things I would never be able to figure out, overthinking all of the grey areas and silences in my relationships. Giving life to every little minute detail, going over every event, every wayward smile, every missed text, every message left unread with a fine tooth comb. And instead of simply thinking maybe they’re tired, maybe they haven’t seen my message, maybe they’ll answer me in the morning; my “logical” next step is to proceed to spend all of my time over-analyzing every potential mistake, every potential miss cue and constantly seeing myself as a reason to blame for anything and everything. And so I can speak about it with such clarity now I can tell you that in the moment it is completely overwhelming and in some cases debilitating. I want to be able to gain some sort of power through knowing what I hold to be true.
Take massive imperfect steps towards your goals.
Do More Things For Myself: I feel like I give too much of myself. I am there for people, I listen, I support, I give my time, I give my love. Fully so. But the downside to that is that it can then feel like not many people are there for me in return, not many give back as much as they take. But that being said, if I am to hold myself accountable and then have to also admit that I struggle to let people in. I struggle to ask for the help that I possibly need. So in turn, are they really not available to help me or am I not asking for the help? Maybe, I don’t have the appropriate boundaries, or maybe I let others use and misuse me for fear of being “alone”. Call it a lack of self-love, I genuinely don’t know what it is. What I do know though, is that I don’t want to bring that same energy into 2022. I’m not saying that I want to become more coldhearted or less caring I just want to be able to vet the people that I give myself to, I want to be able to trust my instincts and know that the energy and time I’m investing is well spent, but also mutual. I also want to carve out more time where I do things I love, more me. Whether it’s having coffee with a friend, getting my nails done regularly, having more me time, being more playful in my fashion sense. I want 2022 to be the year I look inward and realize that I have everything it takes.
It’s on you to get where you want to be.
Make Professional Progress: One of the things I don’t want to take with me into 2022 is self-doubt, in particular to do with my professional life. I have been in my field for over a decade now and over that time I’ve garnered a lot of information and I believe I have a lot of experience maybe not experienced enough to be a Director in my profession but enough experience to be able to give an opinion. What I haven’t been used to is being included in the conversation and I’m not used to having, much less using my voice. That being said I finally have the opportunity or I can actually make huge steps in my professional life and what I wanna do is fully step into that space I want to stop doubting myself and I want to believe that I deserve to be in that position. I want to own the space that I am in and be proud of myself. I also want to be confident and not allow others to make me feel small. I want to use my voice and stand up more for myself.