A Letter To My Exes…

I wrote this poem about 2-3 years ago and never seemed to have the gumption to press publish, since none of them read my blog posts and I’m petty and haven’t remained friends with any, I think it’s only fitting to post it. The timing of this is really not strategic at all, I simply had a space which needed filling, take from it what you may. Happy Monday!

Sorry I wasn’t the best version of myself,
Sorry in some cases, I was never truly myself,
Too scared to let my walls down and let you in,
Sorry for the way I acted and how I treated you,
My insecurities were bigger than me,
I didn’t know myself enough to know my worth,
Forgive me,
For not opening myself up to all the possibilities we could have been,
Forgive me for choosing to hide and masking it with anger and negativity,
I cared, my feelings were real,
I just wasn’t mature enough to show my vulnerability,
Fear was the driving force behind a lot of me,
This wasn’t the lesson you were meant to teach me,
I was meant to learn on my own and with time,
It wasn’t you and was most definitely me,
Please know, the love was real,
The memories are real,
You made an impact on me,
Teaching me things I then, wasn’t ready to learn,
Some of you taught me self-worth, some betrayal and broken trust,
Some have taught me resilience, courage and taking leaps of faith,
Please forgive me for not reaching out and checking in,
I didn’t possess that level of maturity because I am also bruised and a little bit petty,
But, rest assured, I took a lesson from each of you,
Some tougher than others, but lessons nonetheless,
Though our paths weren’t meant to be connected forever,
Know that I wish nothing but the best for you all,
After all, we shared seasons together,
And in some ways, it lead me to where I am now,
Still a work in progress and still trying to figure things out,
But I am happy, even if it means I have to do it alone.
R1- July 2020

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