As resilient and strong as I know I am,

The truth is, I dedicate far too much of my mental energy on the words of one person,

Performing mental gymnastics and increased heart rates,

I am not anxiety,

I cannot let their words take up space in my mind,

But the anticipation of the upcoming week gives me anxiety,

Feelings of the unknown is filling me with dread instead of excitement,

Worrying about each step or decision

Losing all trust in my abilities ,

I don’t know who I have become,

Chipping away at my usual optimistic, positive self,

Into internalizing my stress and feeding into anxieties I didn’t know I had,

April 2022- R1

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