I Would Know

I thought by now I would know what it would be like to have your arms wrapped around me,
I thought for sure you’d still be here smiling sideways at me,
I would know, I saw it so vividly when I closed my eyes.
Except, you dissipated,
Right through my fingers you dissolved like fog on a warm day,
A ghost in my imagination,
I would know, because it keeps me up at night,
Tossing and turning at the idea that it’s been months since I felt your touch,
Our future was so real, so close,
I could almost taste it.
I would know, I drummed up their recipes in my mind,
Allowed myself to be swept away in the melody of your words,
Except all I felt was the void of silence enveloping me,
I would know, I wiped away my own tears,
The ones you said you would never make me shed,
Riddled with feelings of hurt and heartbreak,
I would know, I continue to leak tears over you,
My mind constantly wondering if you’re ok,
If you think of me, of a love plagued with the possibilities,
I would know, I foolishly allowed myself to think of those said possibilities,
How stupid of me, how trusting and how wrong I was,
I would know, I was the one left with the pieces of my broken heart
October 2022-R1