What I Won’t Be Taking Into 2023

As the end the year approaches, it’s only normal to be reflective and look back at the year we just survived. I have to admit that I’ve had an interesting cocktail of a year ( like most people, I’m sure ) and though it’s been filled with some wonderful memories, it’s also had some not so lovely ones. But all in all, it hasn’t made me bitter, in fact it’s made me pensive and optimistic. There are some changes I began to work on in 2022, which I very much want to continue because it has allowed me to really work on myself. So this week on the blog, I’m sharing some of the things I will be leaving behind as 2022 comes to an end.

Practicing What I Preach & Not Putting Myself Last

If you ever need someone to cheer you on or be your hype crew, I am that person, I consider that to be one of my good traits, the problem is- I am not that person for myself. So, in 2023, what I will be actively working on is being my own hype person; believing and pushing myself to be that chick. This relays to the last paragraph in the blog post, but I need to realize that I am capable. The only reason I think I am not is because I simply tell myself this. All of it comes from either words someone has said to me or in the ways in which I allow them to treat me. So, my boundaries will be military like and I will speak up more, I will say how I feel and I will not hold my tongue for the sake of worrying how this will make others feel. I have spent far too much of my time this year, wasted on people who do not care about me, as they have shown it in their actions. I will no longer accept words as currency and will only be dealing in actions. Putting myself first, and living the one life I do have, making the decisions that are true to my heart and not steered in another direction because I don’t want to hurt anyone. I did a lot of thinking and soul searching and I’ve realized that over the years, on the back of being in a longterm relationship with someone who was the very opposite of me. I made a lot of concessions, changing or at least altering parts of who I am in order to keep them comfortable. This has bled out into other things and I’m realizing it’s costing me actually living my life. So for 2023, the caterpillar is blooming into a butterflyπŸ¦‹πŸ¦‹.

You don’t just wake up and become the butterfly. Growth is a process.

Rupi Kaur

Loveless

I am most definitely not a cynical person when it comes to romance, I am after all a sucker for romance films, but what I’ve come to realize was that 2022 for me was a rough year when it came to my love life. Rough. I felt like in the instances where I pushed myself to be more vulnerable, open and honest, were the times when my heart was crushed and in turn I did what I usually do- disengage. I know this isn’t the tacticI should take up but what’s a girl to do when she’s bruised up? Taking time away, focusing on myself and the things I love to do really helped me. It allowed me to see my own worth and, cue all of the inspirational quotes; I am worthy of it and they just were not for me. In spite of that, what I won’t be taking into 2023 or I at least don’t want to consciously take, is the idea that I will never find love again. That I am the problem. That I am intimidating and I scare people away. I will try to take things less personally and realise that sometimes people just aren’t ready and it’s genuinely not about you at all. I can have compassion, I can hold space for someone but it doesn’t mean I need to look back. Just because you didn’t see my worth then and your loneliness or pride has caught-up with you, doesn’t mean it’s for me to take you back. I know what I offer and I know my value, too late is too late. I feel like some of my decision making was based on me feeling like this was the best I was going to get, but at the end of the day, I don’t want someone who isn’t sure about me and isn’t going to overtly and consistently demonstrate their intentions. If you’re hesitant then I’m not the one for you. It really is as simple as that.

I have the power to create the life I desire.

Self-Limiting Beliefs

I feel like I have been working on this for a long time, mostly because I don’t seem to make it a priority or I push it away from focus. But, recently I decided to take a matter into my own hands and not cower or not be passive about this issue in my life. Not only did I surprise myself, but I actually realized just how much I got used to minimizing myself. I could take the road and blame someone else for that, but at the end of the day I have to take responsibility for allowing someone to think they could make me think this way. I am in charge of my life and I am able to steer it in the direction I would like it to go, I can edit and adjust as I see fit. Often, we get used to routines or patterns and we are reluctant to shake things up and while stability is important and essential in some ways, we can also remain stagnant in this routine and it hinders our growth. I gave myself all sorts of excuses as to why I wasn’t qualified enough or experienced enough and this made me retreat. Instead I should have dug deep and thought about the years of experience and drive it has taken me to get to this actual point, I should have thought about the amount of passion and curiosity I have and my ability to adapt and learn from any and every experience. I am capable. No matter what is thrown at me, I will adjust and I will thrive! This much I know. Times might get rocky or turbulent, but at the end of the day I have steered this ship so far, what’s another rocky patch? I have to look after myself and my daughter and if something is blocking me from providing us with this, then I can move along- there is no shame in that. So, I will take a deep breath and I will fully dive in, because at the end of the day I know that I have a support system and I have what it takes in order to be able to pivot.

2 responses to “What I Won’t Be Taking Into 2023”

  1. The part about self-limiting beliefs resonate a lot with me, because I do impose lots of those on myself too. And sometimes I challenge my beliefs and realise I’m much much more than I think I’m capable of. Here’s to blasting through 2023!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: