I Smiled

I thought of you,
No different than I have over the past year,
But, for the 1st time in a while, I smiled,
Not because my feelings have changed,
Mostly because life has given me perspective,
Two months shy from an entire year of not speaking to you,
Yet, I smile,
Distance and space can give you that,
A small smile,
I am here, I am changed, but I am here,
I smiled because I am stronger,
Doesn’t mean I miss you any less,
I smiled because I know what I deserve,
It took me hurt and disappointment,
Performing mental gymnastics to try and understand why I was never enough,
I smiled because I know now,
I might have lost you,
But I gained something more,
I smiled because I gained myself.
November 2022- R1

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