Trente Huit

Thirty eight finds me in a peculiar place,
Balancing feelings of confusion and dissatisfaction,
With gratitude and motivation,
Thirty eight finds me restless and unfulfilled,
Wondering what’s next, yet still ruminating on the past,
Surprised there are still things to figure out,
Equally irritated that feelings of self-doubt still boil up,
Thirty eight has me excited for the future,
Still working towards those goals,
Smiling while I am 100% winging most of it,
Thirty eight has me appreciative of a healthy body and mind,
Because in the instances when it is not the case,
It reminds me how quickly that can change,
Thirty eight meets me accepting things for what they are,
No longer chasing after people or things,
Or seeking for explanations or clarity on everything,
Thirty eight meets me open to love, where I was distant and scared,
Too worried about if I would be liked or not,
I am myself and that’s all I can be, like it or leave it,
Thirty eight finds me vulnerable,
Fragile in some ways,
and distant and elusive in others,
Thirty eight finds me more emotional than I have ever been,
Pensive and thoughtful,
Guarded and cagey,
Thirty eight opens up for me the possibility of rebirth & reinvention,
A shedding I didn’t know I needed to do,
Releasing all of the unnecessary pressures I put on myself,
Thirty eight has me excited and optimistic,
Steady, centered and ever forward.
Nov 2022- R1

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