Love, love love; we just survived the time of year where there is the biggest outpouring of love and sometimes opulence, ( yes, in this economy ), but before you dry gag and eye roll, give me a change. I remain one of the lucky or unlucky ones depending on how you look at it who was very much alone on Val’s Day, and though I very much prepared myself to be sullen about it- I wasn’t. Read this week’s blog post to see why.
Full disclosure, I have yet to have any type of epic Valentine’s Day, so maybe this post might come across as a little cynical, but it’s definitely not my intention for it to be like that at all. I’m really just trying to recenter my focus and give myself some perspective and some grace, in a period where we are bombarded with the “idea” of what expressions of love are meant to look like. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love in its various and many many forms and telling someone, expressing or showing them you love them is always a wonderful thing. My only bug, when people seem to ONLY to this on said day and attempt to show it like a flex when it is really 1 day out of 365 and shouldn’t come down to 1 simple gesture- I think I’m worth much more than that. But, you could also look at me and say, well you are single so of course you’d say that…it’s giving bitter. I’m not, trust me, this is coming from the girl who definitely doesn’t like to receive gifts.
Staying single is a 1000x better than being half loved
Love Don’t Cost A Thing…
Sometimes we get caught up in all of the material expressions of “love” that we overlook the little moments which are just as meaningful. I woke up on the 14th feeling a little down, but woke up to a lovely call from the Bestie wishing me a lovely day, I got an extra snuggle from the little one, another friend send me a messages and also video chatted me out of the blue. Of course, I 100% squirmed and was trying to dodge the attention, but I asked myself, why am I denying myself joy? People took the time to send little ole me a message, I should simply receive it. The homemade card, the expressions of love and appreciation made me feel wonderful, but I can’t help but feel a but ungrateful. And it’s not like the outpouring of love ins’t a wonderful thing, it’s just that if you don’t receive it all the other times a year, Valentine’s Day just seems even more heartbreaking. Or am I looking at it in the wrong way? Expressions of love are welcomed, no matter when you receive them.
Who Says You Can’t Show Yourself Love?
NGL, it’ll suck, especially if you want to be in a relationship and you look around at all the images, and expressions of love all around…if be lying if I said I didn’t feel a pang. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy with the life I have built, I am happy and secure in my job and personal life, but for some reason, I would really like to have someone to share my life with more consistently. But what is actually stopping me from showing myself the love I would like to receive? Why can’t I date myself? So, that is exactly what I did, I had a glass of wine, relaxing music, put on a face mask, read my book ( as a way to stay off socials ) and indulged in some self-love time. On the back of last week’s huge post for me, I am committed to giving myself the pleasure I desire, and if it can’t be found in a person, imma do it myself.
She is stronger alone.
My Sister's Keeper: All things Life & Photography 