What If I Never Love Again?

Somehow, I keep stumbling across a mirage of emotionally unavailable men,
Wondering if I have wasted my time once too many,
The hourglass has ran out of sand and there isn’t a steadying outreached hand,
What if the people I was meant to be with have walked past me in the street,
But I was too distracted by hallow, characterless charm?
Letting emotions carry me away, when in fact what I should have been was practical,
What if I never know love again?
What if I am someone’s one that got away?
Destined to roam the streets a mere vessel of my former self.
Never knowing what it is like to implicitly trust someone?
Spending the rest of my days floating like an island,
No one getting close enough to disappoint or betray me,
Placid, but knowing that my best days are the ones behind me,
Recognizing that I wasted the time I did have on people who didn’t deserve my time,
Allowing myself to be used for temporary purposes, instead of substance.
What if I never know love again?
December 2022- R1

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