Always Second Place

No matter how much I seem to try,
How slow or fast I take it,
How much I protect or throw my heart at someone,
The fact of the matter still remains,
I am always in second place,
Left behind and forgotten like a bad memory,
Thought of when the dust settles and other options don’t pan out,
Second place as if my birth order is a permanence,
I smile and grin through the grovelling of explanations,
When I already know, I am always in second place,
What is so unpleasant about me that I can’t be chosen?
I can’t be the one sought after for once,
Always in second place,
The one they feel the need to come back to and explain their absence,
As if I matter so little, I didn’t merit the words beforehand,
Second place, and afterthought, a regret, ignored.
Jan 2023- R1

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